 
One of the things that transpired when I met the lawyer working on selling the property in North Bulgaria was that I needed the original of a particular document which I had left at home in Manchester; somewhere! I am not entirely deprived of virtues but patience has never been one of them; so, I got on the phone and John started looking through the piles of documents we have managed to cram into the filing cabinet.
To cut a long story short – a story that took John couple of days actually – the document was found and this is very good news indeed about finalising the sale. What was even more interesting, John found many old financial statements that made a fascinating reading.
Looking through these statements two things became clear:
- We have paid PPI (Payment Protection Insurance) on one of our credit cards for couple of years in the 1990s which we need to reclaim – we certainly never agreed to this. Why I am telling you this? Because of two lessons: a) never assume that ‘you are smarter than that’ but check – you may find you are not that smart after all; b) understanding is not enough and to manage your finances well you need information.
- Money used to flow through our lives like water on very dry land: without nourishing it. We finally saw where all the money we had earned went: the financial statements revealed that we went to restaurants, all five of us, five-six times a month; we also spent close to £500 ($770) every month on food and I remember throwing most of it away.
We will claim the PPI insurance protection and this may be as much as £1,000 ($1,500): this also will be the first time ever that my impatience is paying off handsomely.
What I found more interesting is thinking about spending and the ways in which money nourishes – or not – our lives.
The problem
Many would have us believe that spending is THE problem; in fact this message is in the foundation of a whole sub-niche of personal finance blogs, and a very popular one it is – the frugality blogs.
What I believe is that spending – just like expending energy on moving, working and playing – is one of the inevitabilities of life today.
Spending is not a problem; spending that doesn’t nourish your life is a problem!
In our case, spending money on food we threw away didn’t nourish our lives; going to restaurants as a matter of course didn’t bring uniqueness to our lives; going on holidays we didn’t really value or enjoy was ultimately wasteful.
Three strategies to make sure you money nourishes you life
There is little point to money if it doesn’t nourish our life; but to make sure that it does we ought to focus not on money but on life itself.
Starting here, I can think of three main strategies to ensure that our money nourishes our lives.
           Strategy 1: Value
Have you noticed that many of us go through life accepting what they can get rather than focusing on what they really consider to be of value? Well, I have! And I hear more and more often that ‘now that we are fifty, we should get what we can’.
Not me! I learned to get what I want and am determined to keep it that way!
Over the last four years or so I leaned to look for value in its three guises:
- I seek what I consider of value;
- I consume in line with my values that have gone in direction opposite to ‘consumerism’; and
- I aim to get the best value for money.
           Strategy 2: Desire
We live in a world where desire is rarely allowed to develop because our ‘needs’ and ‘wants’ are satisfied in ‘the bud’. Even people my age, people who used to dream about a toy for months before they got it, or not, have started getting what they want when they want it. I remember my Dad noting that in our house all that we wanted appeared immediately like in a fairy tale.
Well, I have been changing that. Lately, I make it a point to wait so that real desire – be it for an adventure, a book or a pair of shoes – can blossom. I am not going to call it ‘delayed gratification’ because it is not about gratification: it is more like a test of how much something will enrich your life. If desire unfolds it is worth spending on X; if desire withers away it is obviously not something I really want in my life.
           Strategy 3: Savour
I often go to restaurants on my own when I travel; and I always bring a book. This gives the message that I’m there just to ‘put something in my belly’ but it also means that most evenings I don’t remember what I’ve had for dinner.
This is pretty much the mechanism through which we make sure that money we spend doesn’t nourish our lives. The way to change is to make sure that we savour every action, every bite and every experience.
Does your money nourish your life and how do you make sure that it does?
Interesting points! I never thought about it because I get to do what I want to do. Part of it is being selective and finding things that I value others because it satisfies a need. I would rather have good inexpensive food vs. just an experience! I by quality clothes at discount, but I don’t have my closet full. I think my values have never changed.
@Krant: I see where you are coming from. But what I have a bit of an issue with is how do I decide what I whant to do!
I’ve thought about this a ton lately as I’ve begun to purge belongings from my life. For me I want to spend money on experiences, not things. I’m far more interested in travel and friends than I am in owning the next new hot thingymodoodle.
@Joe: I have been like that most of my life; it was funny when John and I started living together and he noticed that I am very easy going about carpets and other stuff. Different matter about ‘happenings’ entirely. Btw, today I discussed an ultra-marathon with my trainer; may go for one in Spain. Are you game?
Have you been talking to my friends in Texas? They ask me every time they do an ultra if I’m going to join them for one. Because I consider you a friend, I’ll give you the same answer I give them, “Hell no!”
This is something I’ve focused on a lot in my quest to cut down my spending. Thinking about how much I’d really value a purchase before making it has made it easy to cut back in a lot of areas.
@TFMITH: Yep, it can work like that as well. I remember being absoilutely struck by how much we have come to convince ourselves we need – we don’t need even a fraction of what we have.
Definitely true about spending on things that are more then just a fleeting want. I’ve bought countless items without much thought that I “needed” at that moment, and then quickly never used them again. If I had put more thought into those purchases I would have probably realized that I really didn’t want or need those items, it was just fleeting pulses of consumerism.
@thepotatohead: So have I! We did buy a pasta making machine which I tried once and then left alone to collect dust for a decade. Recently it was rehomed with friends and much joy, pleasure and delicious pasta resulted. We should stop and think what will bring us pleasure; with me, it is often a pair of really good running shoes.
That is an interesting and eye-opening point. I really the idea that we should spend on things that nourishes us, literally and figuratively. It’s about living healthy and let go of the things that are dragging us down. We should enjoy value, desire, and savor.
@KC: Thanks KC; glad it made you stop and cosider :).
Purchase protection insurance is such a waste of money. When I was young and dumb I willingly signed up for it. It cost me over $50/month! Anyway, I definitely try to spend on what is important to me. Sometimes I need to adjust my thinking, though.
Though I (obviously) consider myself a frugality blog, to me, it’s about spending less than you earn, setting aside money for retirement and big purchases, and then maximizing enjoyment with the remainder of your income, very much like you’ve written here. 🙂
I am completely on board with your idea of letting desire for something to develop – all too often I have seen something I like and have bought it immediately, mainly out of fear of missing out. However, this impulse often leads to regret and wondering how else I could have utilised the money that I’ve spent. I’ll definitely bear your tactic in mind next time I go shopping..wish me luck!