Editor’s note: This is another one of the series of posts by Alex charting his way out of the rut of unemployment.
Well it is back to the grindstone of filling time. After two weeks wilfully participating in a great work-based training course it is now down to myself alone to start up the engine again and find the gears. All the while I look back on the ICM course with a smile on my face, yet the journey ahead still lies on broken pathways. Gratefully I can see a bit clearer further up ahead and where the tracks lead.
However, the problem still lies with the here and now, consistently within my own conscience. Some days I might have set things to do, like taking a trip to the Job Centre and the local shops to ask for work. I might have emails to send, bills to arrange (can be scary) and even some writing I’ve planned to do. The problem is: how do I fill out the whole week? How do I keep myself busy enough in the day times not to feel a weight of guilt or uselessness during the evenings?
The key is to see a real purpose in yourself and your pursuits, and then let others find the purpose of you.
This is still something I’m striving to get right, and it could take some time.
Two things I do from day to day are cooking and cleaning, although it can be tempting to shy away from the latter. Cooking is something that brings me joy, and when I have enough ingredients in the kitchen to make a good meal it becomes a reward for completing a different task like dusting the living room, which I loathe.
Something to note is how fickle our mental state can be. We can be employed, happily employed (a great thing), unemployed or happily unemployed (a sad thing). In between these lifestyles are fleeting levels of satisfaction. It is in the search for satisfaction that we judge ourselves and the choices we make. You do not have to find joy in the act of cleaning the living room, but instead find joy in the completion and execution of such a mundane task.
The truth is I cannot advise anyone on job searches and applications – they are for the individual to carry out themselves. I can only tell you that when you do so it is important to try and operate at a positive mindset. And so, as the email is sent I can look forward to any reply from the company (if I’m so lucky) instead of half heartily clicking ‘send’ and writing my chances off before the application has even reached the employer.
Either path is a stubborn one; it’s just about choosing the right one. Be stubbornly cheerful as much as you can because otherwise you can fall into a gloomy outlook that nothing at all will go your way.
Housework is arduous and ongoing, and some understand and appreciate it more than others, but it has to be done. So why not feel good about it? The difference is that when working full time there is no domestic task you would normally look forward to coming home, but in my experience the busier you are the more you’re able to plan things out.
I have tried and tested plans for the weekend when working full time and when unemployed and I can tell you I find it easier to stick to a routine when the routine is already set out. So the trick is not to get too disheartened when some may argue that you have all the time to yourself, when actually it is that very wealth of time that hinders oneself. You only have to keep yourself and your mind as busy as you can. See the light and watch it take over the dark.
It is of course difficult to find any real contentment in anything that doesn’t motivate and interest you. Finding work itself can feel like I’m looking for something new to fill the void, especially as I’m mainly looking for customer service based jobs, but grappling and defeating the feelings of boredom and negative thoughts are the real goals here. Maximise any feeling of achievement and strive to conquer better, whether lurking just around the corner or seemingly miles away, because those feelings of regret and pointlessness will never get you to where you want to be.
(Nor will they get the washing done).
Battle on, pilgrim!
It can be tough to be looking for work, I’ve been there before after a corporate layoff. What I found is that if I chose to be happy and acted as if I was, then things went a bit better. Not always easy, but it helps!
This is exacctly what I mean. It can be very difficult to keep one’s head up and a part of me has wanted to give up completely, but the part that’s up for the fight is relentless in smiling, however genuine the smile feels.
Yes…keep on keeping on. Put yourself out there and let the universe do it’s work! Enjoyed this very much :).
Thank you! If only the universe could fix it’s own problems for once!