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Seven Step Practical Guide to Help You Decide When It Is Time To Quit

I just quit writing a long blog post about the signs that help you decide when it is time to quit.

Why did I do that?

I did it for the same reason I quit skiing this week. I quit because the costs of writing the post outweigh the benefits of it.

Put simply, I was spending too long writing stuff that you probably won’t find helpful, useful and entertaining.

This post is different. I finished writing it because there is something in it that, I believe, is very valuable for you and you can’t find in every other post written on quitting.

Before we go any further, though, let me ask you a question:

When was the last time you quit something? Why did you do it?

(You can tell us about it in the comments.)

I’m not very good at quitting. Looking back, there isn’t much that I have consciously stopped doing. Why is that, you may ask?

I have problem quitting because:

  • I don’t want to be seen as a quitter; and
  • I (subconsciously) believe in my omnipotence (put simply, I believe that I can solve any problem and achieve anything if I just put a bit more effort).

Can you see how ridiculous these sound?

Let’s talk about my fear of being seen as a quitter first. I spent my life building a reputation of somebody who sees things to completion. You see, my concern has always been that one day, when I’m no longer around, the story of my life will read like a volume of selected intentions. So, when things didn’t gain traction, I’d hit them harder. Or I’ll put them ‘on the back burner’.

So you see, my fear of being seen as a quitter didn’t actually bring about higher level of completion of different projects; what it resulted in is much more clutter of projects at different level of completion.

Do you have my fear of being seen as a quitter? If you do, please work through it and learn to quit; anything else will lead to clutter that damages productivity. Also, it is better to be seen as a (conscious) quitter than as a person of many unrealised intentions.

Shall we tackle my belief of omnipotence now? Yes, this one is even sillier than the previous one. Not unexpected though; so if you believe that you can ‘crack it if you persist’ don’t blame yourself. This has been the message of motivational gurus for as long as they’ve been around – you can do it, you can do anything and you can be anything.

This, of course, is a big crock of rubbish. I always wanted to look like Julia Roberts but I can’t. I want to win Nobel but I’m unlikely to do so. (You see what I mean?)

Hence, my friend, forget your fear that you’d be seen as a quitter and examine your belief that you can achieve anything. Learn to know when it is time to quit instead.

A lot can be said about the signs that it is time to quit. Instead of breaking down an open door, I’d suggest you read this blog post on the how to know when to quit.

I’ve also written about the signs that it is time to leave your job.

What I’d like to do is to put forward a way that will help you decide whether it is time to quit something. It can be anything – hobby, activity, project, your job or your relationship.

First, I’d become convinced that quitting is not a matter of signs. It is a matter of weighing the costs of what you do against the benefits that it confers.

It is time to quit when the costs of the activity/project exceed by far the benefits it confers.

This was the easy, and fairly obvious bit. Now let’s get in the detail of how to do this one.

Here is a seven step, practical guide to help you decide when it is time to quit a project or an activity.

#1. Grab a pen and a piece of paper.

#2. Divide the paper in two columns

#3. Entitle one column ‘costs’ and the other one ‘benefits’

#4. Within each column have the following headings: material, emotional, psychological, physical and relationships.

#5. Think of all material, emotional, psychological, physical and relationships costs and benefits of the particular activity/project. Write them down.

#6. Think about the value of the activity to your life. Decide what is the ‘costs to benefits’ ratio that you could tolerate.

#7. Come up with the verdict – yes or no.

That’s all – a practical guide to help you decide whether it is time to quit a project.

Example

Here is how it worked for me when I decided that it is time to hang my skis and do something else instead (like eating cake and drinking coffee).

  Costs Benefits
Material Cost of holiday

Cost of equipment

Cost of lessons

NA
Emotional Upset that I can’t do much

Having to face my aging

Embarrassed to be low achiever

Fragility awareness

Fear of trauma

High from the exercise

Relief to have survived the day

Psychological Stress and anxiety

Unable to sleep

Not being able to enjoy the mountain

Not being stressed about other stuff
Physical Knee pain

Groin hurts from splits fall

Hips starting to fill weird

Pleasant tiredness
Relationships Snapping because of tiredness

 

Talking slopes adventures with my son

Shared experience

 

As you can see, in this case, the costs of skiing by far exceed the benefits. Some of the costs – particularly the ones associated with body trauma and damage – could potentially become long-term problems. Given that skiing is not an activity that has great value and high priority in my life the ratio of costs to benefits is unacceptably high.

Hence, I decided that it is time to quit skiing.

Finally…

Our culture emphasises completion and seeing things to the end.

Completing projects is important; but what about the ones that won’t work whatever you do? Or the project that someone somewhere can complete but this is not you?

Learning to distinguish between projects you ought to continue working on and ones you should discontinue is a great part of ultimate success.

Sometimes it is simply time to quit.

Have you quit a project recently? How did you decide that it is time to quit?

2 thoughts on “Seven Step Practical Guide to Help You Decide When It Is Time To Quit”

  1. It is a good example of a decision making matrix. And clearly anyone that gets that little out of skiing is wasting their money because you aren’t a skier at heart. Someone who loves to ski would have a dozen positives on the benefit side including my personal favorite, it is like being able to fly!

    Reply
    • @Steveark: Oh dear. Being able to fly? No wonder I didn’t enjoy it this time much. For me skiing has always been about control and getting out of my comfort zone, not soaring. (I have vertigo, you see.)When I was working out the matrix, I thought that it will work for any project – including work, activities, relationships. What do you reckon?

      Reply

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