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Better be Sorry than Safe: about experience, learning and dreams

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Do you dream about the day when all your debt will be paid off?

Or when you’ll have enough money so you’ll never have to worry again?

Are you racing against time to pay off your very low interest mortgage?

Are you chasing the dream of feeling completely safe?

I suddenly realised that I do!

Four years ago, faced with a consumer debt of $160,000 I mourned my safety and feared the risks to my family this meant.

Then I forgot to be safe and started living an exciting life Tweet: When I forgot to be safe I started living an exciting life via @moneyprinciple https://ctt.ec/n7UfW+.

I changed the way we spend.

I changed the way we manage our finances.

I learned about money, finance and business.

I stood at the bottom of a snowy hill asking to buy ski-passes (now, this is so outside my comfort zone).

I started a blog.

I became a ‘fly hustler’.

I ran marathons.

I felt excited and invigorated; life coursing through my body.

Now we have no consumer debt and I want to feel safe again.

I want to have no mortgage.

I want to have a ton of money in the bank.

I want our investments to be safe.

I want to know what the future holds.

Is it only me who is engaged in this pursuit of safety?

I doubt that. Our Western civilisation has become obsessed with safety. We get warned that:

  • Stones may fall off rocks;
  • We may drown in water;
  • We may suffocate if we put a plastic bag around our head; and
  • Peanut butter may contain nuts.

All this obsession with safety and we are as exposed as ever.

Because, as the authors of Freakonomics convincingly demonstrated, we humans are notoriously bad at assessing and judging risk. We are worried that our airplane will crash when it is more likely that we are hit by a car.

We worry we’ll run out of money when we are eighty when many of us will never get there.

Safety is alluring. It is also the antidote of risk, excitement and progress.

It’s better to be safe than sorry, the saying goes. And I don’ buy it.

Sometimes it is better to be sorry!

It is better to be sorry when:

Being safe is in the way of new experience

Expanding our experience of the world – natural and social, personal and organisational – is vital for our existence, success and enjoyment in life.

Trying a new hobby, dabbing in a new activity, tasting an unusual dish, experiencing a different culture are the things that keep us interested, interesting and invigorated.

Let’s do something we’ve never done today!

James Althucher asked for 10% discount. I’ll write a novel.

What are you going to do?

Being safe is in the way of your learning

Lusting after being safe can be in the way of your learning.

There is a lot of deceptive security in tried and tested knowledge. Why learn something new, why keep our minds open, why explore and acquire new competencies and skills when we know.

Being knowledgeable, being an expert is safe.

Unfortunately it is the kind of safety that can lead to spectacular downfalls. In consulting, being safe and sticking with a painfully familiar usually means that you will run out of business very soon.

When you are freelancing, being safe is a certain death.

Learning and adapting to the changing streams of life is what keeps us on top of our game – personally and professionally.

When was the last time you learned something new?

Being safe reduces quality of life

Every time I keep safe I rob my life of quality.

Because the quality of our lives is about fun and joy. Keeping overly safe is just another way to say that our lives are steeped in routines and boredom.

It is safe to swallow your opinion at work; it is safe to watch adventure on TV and never explore the world; it is safe to stay within your comfort zone.

You know, when we live safe and boring lives, we don’t live longer. It only seems so.

What are the things that bring excitement to your life?

Being safe is in the ways of your dreams

Worst of all, being overly safe can be in the way of our dreams.

I am well versed in that. Just look what’s happening to my dreams:

Dream Reality
I want to spend a month in a Flamenco Dancing School in Spain learning to dance from Gypsy dancers. I’m staying safe in my house and watch videos about dancing.
I want to ride a motorbike across the United States I’m staying safe by postponing doing what is needed; my son doesn’t believe we’ll ever do it
I want to walk 300 kilometres of the Santiago de Compostela route I’m keeping safe on a beach in Portugal
I want to run the Comrades, a 51 mile race in South Africa. I’ve succumbed to the fear of injury rather than focus on training smart and hard
I want to write novels Haven’t started yet; it feels safe to dream but what if I couldn’t hack it?

 

Finally…

A life well lived is a life of balance between being safe and being sorry.

Lured into a pursuit of safety, we risk limiting our experience, impeding our learning, reducing our quality of life and forfeiting our dreams.

I certainly don’t want to go through the rest of my life without testing my limits: in running, writing and adventure.

photo credit: Haags Uitburo via photopin cc

How about you?

6 thoughts on “Better be Sorry than Safe: about experience, learning and dreams”

  1. I am looking forward to the post that talks about the South African run, the hike along that trail in Spain (I want to do that one too) and the ride across the U.S. I really love this post. I think that there is also an “in between” from being too safe and jumping off a cliff. Sometimes people have to go the middle of the road route and still end up pretty happy.

    Reply
    • @Krant: You are right when it concerns the accepted and necessary level of safety. I believe we are taking it too far; so far that our children don’t learn how to take calculated risks. This reminds me of a French novel where a mother wanted to keep her child safe so she made him wear metal shoes and locked him in his room.

      Reply
  2. I have had the same discussion this evening with my husband. Seize the moment but remember ever action has a consequence. Balance is the key. Love your blog which I have been following now for a while now.

    Reply

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